Letter to Vanessa (#7)

Yes, this is the third night in a row I've written you an email, BUT HEY! I FOUND THE TIME! And I really wanna get you all caught up with this affair crap. Where are we now? Oh yes, Claires birthday. The last time we saw her it was the end of February. Now, it was May.
Not much drama happened. Actually, barely any at all. Cole was just a little upset, and I was in a good mood and told him to call her. I also decided that Tommy should be on the end of the other line. Because he loves to spy.. and well.. i love to know these things. So this is how the conversation went down...
Claire: Hello?
Cole: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
He sounded really happy. But in an awkward way.
Claire: Thanks. How are you?
You coould SEE her smile coming out of the holes in the phone.
Cole: Pretty good. How are YOU?
Claire: Old. I'm 23.
Cole: So am I.
Claire: Yupp...
Cole: So, how are you?
Claire: I just told you.
Cole: did you Claire? Did you really?
Claire: Did you get that line from Sonny with a Chance?
Cole: Hell yeah. But common, I'm not stupid. How are you, really?
Claire: We're getting through it one day at a time.
Cole: I never asked about you and Jaxon and Julia. I aksed about YOU. And your a wreck.
Claire: What? Do you stalk me now or something?
Cole: No. But you did say you were in love with me. And I know that feeling doesnt just go away.
Claire: Okay, fine. I'm a wreck. I miss you and love you to death but I cant have you. I know that now. But I'm not planning on moving on.
It was awkward for a minute.
Cole: I should go.
Claire: No! I mean. Please dont. Its easier if i talk to you until I need to. You know? And then when I'm ready I can say goodbye.
Cole: Okay.
Claire: I'm sorry. You can leave if you want...
Cole: *laughs* No, I wont leave.
Claire: Why are you laughing?
Cole: You remind me of Maria. With Zack Love.
Claire: Oh right. That guy. Do you hate that guy?
Cole: No, why should I?
Claire: Because Maria wanted him. And he did shit with her.
Cole: Yeah but he made her happy. And even if it was for the wrong reasons, I cant hate anyone that makes her happy.
Claire: Oh. Good point. Did they have sex?
Cole: No. They werent as stupid as us.
Claire: Good.
So yeah thats basiclly it. But as you can see, that was important. Because of those last lines. "Did they have sex?" "No, they werent as stupid as us."
wait wait wait.
Up to this point, I never knew that they had sex.
I thought they were talking about having sex as teenagers
or ALMOST having sex.
But no.
The doorbell rang. It always starts that way.
Cole answered it.
Claire.
She was crying. A LOT. Like, so much she was gasping for air. Cole hugged her awkwardly. I came into the room.
Maria: Fucking Slut.
Claire looked at me for one second and then just kept crying. This was not for show. Claire was REALLY upset about something. So I let them talk. I went upstairs. About ten minutes later, Cole and Claire are in my doorway.
Claire: Be mad at me, not Cole. You already got mad at Cole. He doesnt want this. its just a consequence he has to pay for.
Maria: Whats going on?
Claire: I'm pregnant. From the one and only time we had sex.
It was silent for a second. I teared up, but kept my school. I wanted to scream "GET THE FUCK OUT. BOTH OF YOU" or something along those lines.
Maria: Leave. Please.
And Claire left. I hugged Cole. I said it was okay. it wasnt.
And that was the end of that time. Things do get a little saucy again, but like I said, the worst was over in January. But since Claire was pregnant, we decided to give her ANOTHER chance. Things went wel for a while She came over every now and then. She was nice. She was kinda fun to hang with actually. One night, things got a little juicy. well. kinda, anyway. Claire was meeting the twins for the first time and she got a little emotional. She went outside, and Cole followed her. I spied.
Cole: Your not okay.
She muttered something.
Cole: what?
She mummbled again.
Cole: Okay, cool.. I'll just sit here and wait for you to tell me whats wrong.
It was silent.
Claire: I'm never okay.
He put his arm around her super awkwardly.
Cole: Its... uh... gunna be okay.
She looked up at him.
Claire: I need you, Cole.
OH HERE WE GO AGAIN.
Cole: I know it feels like that but-
Claire: It doesnt just feel like that, Cole.
Cole: Maybe its time for you to try to open your heart to someone else.
YEAH, LIKE SOMEONE WHO ISNT MARRIED?
Claire: I cant! God, I've tried! I cant!
She started crying A LOT and fell into his arms. He hugged her super tightly.
Cole: I'm sorry.
Claire: Why are you doing this?
She pushed away. Um. well, theres a little twist for you.
Cole: What?
Claire: All of this. Hugging me and saying nice things. You make me feel like you feel the same way and it confuses me and makes things worse, and when you arent close to me I want you to be, but when you are it pissed me off cause your sending me mixed feeelings or something and it really hurts and I dont know what to do anymore.
Yup. She pretty much just summurized the way I feel about Zack. She rocks.
Cole: I know, I'm sorry.
Claire: I just dont understand why I still dont understand. It happened so long ago but I need you and if its lasted this long already, it'll probably last forever. I know you dont love me but it always feels like it does, and I dont get it.
Cole: It only feels like I love you because I do.
She cuddled up to him. He hugged her super tight. I got kinda jealous.
Claire: I love you so much.
Cole: I love you, too.
Claire: Its so hard to see you happy. It hurts. I dont know why. I like seeing you happy.
Cole smiled at her.
Cole: You make me happy.
It was silent for a bit and then she looked up at him and kissed him. Just really quickly. I was kinda pissed, but it was actually just so adorable. He kissed her head and brought her closer to him. And then they just cuddled each other.
well, i gotta go. See you.
Well. thats a lie. I wont see you.