The crafts, the food, the laughter, the turkey. This past week has been so excited. Taking pictures of the twins in the leaves, wiping all the gravy off of Skye’s face (damn, she REALLY likes gravy), painting "turkeys" with Zack (well, they're supposed to be turkeys), and chasing Tommy through the forest. Maybe my sadness this week has distracted me from all the excitement going on around me. But now that the week is over, I realized how great of a week it was. The kids were all so happy. And now, I'm happy. (Besides the fact that I miss you like hell) To Zack, right now, Thanksgiving is Turkey Day. It's all about the crafts, food, laughter, and ESCPESSIALY the turkey. But he also knows that Thanksgiving is a day to "talk about what makes you happy." We told him as simply as we could this year, but he'll surely learn much more over the years, because to us- Cole, Tommy, and I- thanksgiving is about refreshing your heart with old memories. It’s about looking the dark days in the face and saying "HA! I STILL HAVE SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR! AND YOU CANT TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!" We've had so many hard days in our lives, and so, so many in the past year. Sometimes its hard to be thankful. But on days like these, its hard not to be. Here are a few things and people I'm thankful for.
I'm thankful for my husband.
For the way he stands up for Tommy when he's being bullied.
For the way he calms me down when I get more angry than I should be.
For the way he disciplines the kids, because he disciplines them in the RIGHT way.
For all the star bucks drinks he bought me.
For all the pictures he's taken of the kids, and for him getting them all printed.
For all the songs he's written us.
For the way he says "You're missing Zack." as a sentence, not a question. Because he knows how i feel. All the time.
For the way he kisses me, and tells me he loves me- even when we're a little frustrated with each other.
For the way he opens the curtains each morning, letting the sun come though, and whispers into my ear and says "Good morning, love"
For the way he lets me sleep in while he gets the kids ready, and even sometimes makes breakfast.
For all the dates we have.
I'm thankful for my brother.
For the way he doesn’t let things get to him.
For the way he says "that’s okay. Its life." He plays with the cards he's been dealt.
For all the jokes he tells.
For his HELP IN THE KITCHEN!
For reminiscing on all the memories we had with you.
For making Cole and I be blunt. "Can you please leave. We want to be alone. " is not allowed. "Can you please leave? I kinda wanna make out with Cole." is allowed.
For helping with the kids when I need help.
For saying "Are you okay?" whenever he thinks I'm sad.
For being my soundtrack. He'll sing opera, he'll rap, he'll sing loves songs. He'll sing anything. :)
I'm thankful for my children.
For the way Zack says "Zack's always right."
For Skye's "Tutu Time"
For the way Ivy looks you right in the eye and "talks" non stop.
For the way Lily puts her hands all over you- feeling your eyes, your nose, your lips, your cheeks.
For my dates with Zack.
For the way I call Zack. "Zack, love!" Because it reminds me of you. And Zack knows it.
For the way Zack says everyone’s name. "Where's Kye?" "Hi Ibee" "Night night Willy." "NO, UKOMMY!" "Mummy miss Ukack?"
For the way Zack and Skye can already say "I love you."
For kisses on the lips, because nowhere else will do.
For the way Skye tugs on my leg.
For Ivy's screech.
For Lily's sense of smell.
For kisses, cuddles, and hugs.
For dress up time with the girls.
For the way they all look at the camera. All the time.
For every morning, when Skye see's me and says "HI MUMMA!"
For Ivy's CONSTANT smile.
For Lily's curiosity.
For their nick names. "Zackaroni, monster, Zack Attack, ZackaryCartmanFaith (as one word), or Zack Love" "Skye bear, Skye Skye, Kye, Pretty baby, Princess" "Ibee, Ivy dear, Smily Ivy, Miss. Independent", "Lily bug, Kitty cat, Miss. Curiosity, Lili"
For their un conditional love.
I'm thankful for my friends. For those we see, and those we dont.
For the week we spent in the Cook Islands, and all those days you were there.
For two years ago from today, October 11th 2008.
For the way Kellyanne planned that day.
For the way you said you'd always love me.
For your hugs and kisses, even though they were wrong.
For Brennah babysitting whenever we need it.
For Sarah's ghetto talk. And for her being there for me all these years.
For you saving me all those times you did. I wouldnt be here if it werent for you. My kids wouldnt be here.
For all the little fighters at the hospital who smile no matter what.
For all the songs we sing.
I'm thankful for the material things.
For tutus, and dresses, and bows.
For Zack's adorable vests.
For warm sweaters and comfy jeans.
For my blankets.
I'm thankful for the curtains.
For the video cameras.
for the videos and pictures of the kids.
For the charm bracelet you gave me.
For my wedding ring.
For journals, paper, and pens.
I'm thankful for life. For who I am today, and how far we've all come. I'm thankful for the memories I made with you and your family, and I'm thankful that you are part of my family- that we all considered each other family at one point in time. I'm thankful that today when we went around the table talking about these things we were thankful for, Tommy said "I'm thankful for Cartman even though he isnt here. And Kellyanne, Vanessa, and Miley's sexiness. For Tom's advice and Jeremys normalness, and Dereks horniness, and hey. Zack isnt that bad too. In fact, hes kind of... good looking. And nice. and funny and stuff. So I'm thankful we used to see them." We were talking about you all night long, we still are to this very minute. Zack said "For mummy and daddy" ZackaryCartmanFaith, I'm thankful for you too.
And Zack Love, I'm thankful for you. Thankful that you were once here. Thankful that you made me smile all the time, that you held me when I cried, and that we were each others only, and bestest, "brokens" I'm thankful for your abs, and your hugs and kisses, although I shouldnt even know them. I'm thankful that no matter what the status, you'll always love me. And I'm thankful those giant, gross crabs didnt eat us. I love you so much, and miss you so much.
Zack, I'm thankful that I believe nothing is impossible.
I'm thankful that I have the slightest bit of hope.
(this email was heavier than intended. At least it was heavy with happy things)
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