Friday, November 19, 2010

Lizzie McQuire

HEY THERE VANESSA.
I need to talk to yah. Maria has been having a lot of "flash backs" today about you guys. And she really misses you. So I got a question for you. When your crying, what does Zack do about it? I mean, Maria cries sometimes. And I comfort her sometimes. But when it comes to her missing you, I don't really know what to do. I mean. SOMETIMES SHE JUST DOESNT STOP CRYING. And it gets me all nervous, and I mean, I'm not really a funny guy. I'm just that awkward cute guy that everyone loves. :) Not that I feel awkward around Maria, its just that its awkward comforting her because she's missing the guy she cheated on me with. I'm Cole. By the way.
hi.
It really bothers me to see Maria so upset about you. She misses all of you SO much, and it hurts me. Because, I mean, she could be so happy if she could go out to starbucks with you sometimes, or name some furniture with Kellyanne, or teach Cartman to cook, or force Zack to watch Harry Potter with him (cause I'm tired of her forcing me too) Its just those simple things that would make her so much more happy. She is a happy girl, but its plain to see that theres this one thing holding her back from being happy to her full potential.
I don't know what to tell her in times like these. I can't say "its okay, you'll see them again." Because we most likely wont see you again. When you miss people, what do you want to hear? People who havent passed on, I mean. Because when someone has passed away, they're gone. There's no hoping they'll come back. But in this case, its like... your missing. And you aren't coming back, but theres still a little space left for hope. And... it's POSSIBLE. That pisses me off so much. If you can be here, I just wish you were here. And if you can't be here, I just wish it was impossible to see you. But then we'd have to go through the grief all over again. And that would suck.
LETS JSUT LAY THIS OUT PLAIN AND SIMPLY.
Come back into our lives. My wife misses all of you way too much, and she needs some more laughs. I could use some, too. Hell, we all could.
But enough about that, theres another reason I gotta talk to you too. You know. Uh. Claire. yeah, I'm sure Maria's told you a wee bit about her. Something kinda happened today, and I'm pretty freaking confused by it. We were just chillin on the couch and then we started fighting. I can't even remember why, but I got so pissed off. She was going on about how I don't love Jaxon and Julia and shit like that, and then I said some shit. And then I blew up in her face and we both shut up. And kinda just looked at each other. And then she kissed me. And I guess it was all fairly... normal. I don't feel very normal telling you this though. Probably because I've kissed you before, or because that's pretty much all I've done with you. But out of all the Love's, your the one I know the best. Actually. Cartman probably is. Maybe I should have written to him instead. But your cooler than him.
Anyway, its not really the kiss that makes it bad. Its that, this time, not a single part of me wanted to stop. I wanted to kiss her. And I kept kissing her until she pulled away. I don't know why I did that. I shouldnt have done that. I'm pretty pissed at myself.
JUST THOUGHT I'D LET YOU KNOW.
Yeah, Cole's still alive.
I still kinda miss you, too.

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