ROUTINE= ESTABLISHED

So I've FINALLY fallen into a routine. Pretty good considering I'm a single mom raising five kids, right?
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday: It's awesome, I wake up, make breakfast, wake up the kids and feed them; get everyone dressed, including myself. We take Tommy to school, I do the girls hair and my own hair and makeup and it works pretty well each morning. We do go to the park or do something outside, come back and the twins have a nap. Zack and Skye have quiet time while I do school work (I go to university from home... I did tell you I'm back in school, right?) They wake up about 40 minutes later. We do crafts and have lunch and watch TV; then they have an afternoon nap. When they wake up we pick up Tommy from school. We go a little crazy, Tommy is awesome and plays with them while I make supper, one or two of the kids will help me make dinner. We eat and I bathe the kids and get them ready for bed. The twins go to sleep and Skye and Zack watch one more show and then go to bed. Then me and Tommy hang out for a bit.

Thursday, Friday and Saturday don't have too much of a routine. On Thursday I get the kids ready and drive them to Cole's. He has them until Sunday. I do whatever I didn't have time to do when I was with the kids on those days. On Thursday and Friday I go volunteer with the kids at the hospital, something Cole and I did every day before we had kids. I relax and take time to myself or go to parties. It's nice to have that freedom I guess, but I worry about the kids when they aren't with me. I know Cole takes good care of them, and we keep in close contact. It's just different.

Sunday is the best day and the worst day. Sunday Cole comes over in the morning and we're all dressed up and get the kids dressed up and then go to Church. Cole and I agree it's important to be friends for the kids, so Sunday's are our family days. It's hard but its the best day. Although the day ends in tears if it doesn't end with a fight, it's good for the kids.

Things are getting better, I got to admit. They are difficult though. The one thing wrong with my weekly routine is that you're all not a part of it. And when I write to you I have better days. So I really am going to try.
This is hard, Zack. I hate this and I wish it didn't have to happen. I wish that it could just be there between me and Cole but its not, and it's never going to be. And we'll both learn to live with that. I also talked to Cole about writing to you the other day, he said he still wants to write to you sometimes, he just has to get his routine together. He's trying to find his own place, I'm helping him out as much as I can with the money situation.

ANYWAY I'M TIRED. Another thing about this new routine, I GO TO BED EARLY.

By the way, Zack, I know I don't say it very often anymore; but I love you. So much.