Sunday, May 29, 2011

My children are awesome sauce.


Hey Zack, hows it going? Good? Good.
How am I doing?
TERRIBLE.
Seriously, this has been bothering me forever. My hair is SO dry. NO MATTER WHAT I DO TO IT, ITS DRY. AND IT SUCKS. I barely ever do anything to my hair anymore, and I use the same shampoo I've always used and MY HAIR IS FOREVER DRY.
But, other than that, theres something else I have to address. Well, not really address, but you don't really know whats going on with my children lately, do you?
WELL.
Zack: Do you remember when you met Tommy? He was like three years old, right? Thats pretty much exactly how Zack is. He's ALWAYS RUNNING, and hes loud and playful and REALLY HIGH MAITMENCE. But I do love the kid.
Skye: Honestly, she is the coolest kid ever. She's so adventurous and curious and just so HAPPY. And she loves to play with my makeup.

Ivy: Ivy is like... THE QUEEN. She's really tough and independant and beautiful and strong. She's like Kellyanne, in some ways, I think. And her and Lily are almost ONE. Ivy's sitting up and crawling every where.
Lly: Lily is like Kellyanne in another way. She's SMART. She's already walking and saying a few words. She says ABCD and she can count to four. And she says hi and bye. And she walks. She's just a little over achiever :P And not so shy anymore.

it just sucks that Cold has to miss all this. So much has happened with them and he's going to miss their first birthday... its sad. But not much longer :) He'll be home soon.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

You know whos got the cutest smile? You :)


Question: whos got the cutest smile?

Funny how I got this question, really. I went to Starbucks like I do every day and I asked the cashier man to ask me a question, any question. And he was like "You know whos got the cutest smile?" And I was like "SWEET THANKS" and then he was like "You know who I think has the cutest smile? What the first word I said in that question?" I loled. And then I mentioned my husband. muahahahhaa. Anyway, I'm not gonna answer this one, because I have the cutest smile and I want to be modest ;) JUST KIDDING, JEEZ.

Claire:
HOW DO I ANSWER THIS IN FIVE SENTENCES? Oh, that was one. SO WAS THAT! SO WAS THAT! WOW SO WAS THAT! Cole.

Tommy:
Me, of corse. have you seen me smile? with teeth or without teeth i find myself wondering every day WHY AM I SO HANDSOME? i dont know but i really do have a great smile even though i have huge teeth. seriously those poor ladies. only one in billions can have me. that one is gonna be one lucky girl.


That IS a really cute picture of Tommy. We're so alike :P Both so humble. I like Claires answer too.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

puberty


hi zack its tommy
i wanna talk about stuff with you. um heres the thing. my voice is starting to crack. its getting deeper and im getting acny and MAYBE i had those things you call wet dreams a few times and i havent told maria about them and coles not home. my friends all shower now and i still like bubble baths and they play cod black ops and stuff and i play mario. and they dont even eat as much candy. LIKE WTF. im down for talking about girls and sex but NO CANDY? NO MARIO? NO BUBBLE BATHS? and whats with this face deformations and this deep voice... and... other stuff? I dont like it.
and marias been all pms emotional and stuff and shes all 'DONT GROW UP TOMMY' and its like 'IM TRYING MARIA I CANT HELP IT I JUST LIKE TO KILL PEOPLE ON VIDEO GAMES INSTEAD OF RACE CARS AND I LIKE MEAT INSTEAD OF SOUR DINOS AND I CANT HELP MYSELF FROM... YOU KNOW... DOING STUFF AT NIGHT UNCONTROLLABLY. WILL YOU PLEASE TELL MARIA I WANT TO BE TOMMY BUT IM TURNING INTO... THOMAS.
I DONT WANT TO BE THOMAS
I
AM
TOMMY.

Monday, May 23, 2011

MARIA STOP TALKING ABOUT STUPID REALITY TV.


Hey Vanessa.. I'm not sure what we're gonna talk about today, so sorry if this takes the wrong direction. I haven't been in a very wonderful mood lately, and now you know thats because Cole is gone. IT JUST SUCKS BEING WORRIED ALL THE TIME, YOU KNOW!? I don't know too much about your life, but do you know that feeling? It sucks. But its okay. Not much longer and he'll be home :)
Oh, but guess what starts tonight? The bachelorette ;) Remember Ashley? Probably not. She was the one who hit it off with Brad but then started second guessing everything and it ruined there relationship. So, she died her hair brown and now she has like 26 guys on her. Don't worry, I'm not too obsessive over the Bachelorette, I like the Bachelor more. BUT LETS RATE THE GUYS AS THEY'RE INTRODUCED. Alright lets do it. I'm excited.
Wow you must hate me if you don't watch these shows.
OH WELL YOU'RE STIL MY BFF.
I got three sexy dresses the other day. I don't know where I'm gonna wear them but whatever.
Ryan P- WHOA HE LOOKES LIKE CLAY FROM ONE TREE HILL. Oh man, he's corny. okay he gets a 6.5
JP- pretty sexy, I think. Looks 8.5/10. Actually, for me hes like a 10/10. yeah I like him. I like JP.
Ames- oh dear. He works for the government. running. Nice body though. 3/10
Why didnt it say his name- hes passionate. He gets a 6.5/10.
Ben F- Awe his daddy died. And hes kind of hot. I don't really like long hair on guys but he seems cool. 8/10
Bentley- OH HE HAS A DAUGHTER... named Cozy. WTF. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT. hahaha okay, lets just give him a solid 6/10.
Anthony- He's a butcher. Oh man. He's one of those crazy ass italian guys. NO RACISM INTENDED. I just don't like how his hair is greaced back. 2/10
West- He was married to a wonderful woman named sarah, she was the love of his life. She had this history of seizures. One day she got in the bath tub. I checked on her.. and... it hurt. more than anything in my life to lose her. Oh damn. I like him out of pity. Okay, I'm giving him an 8/10. Theres something about that JP though.
William- He seems really pratical. I don't like practical too much. Umm... 5/10
okay thats not all 25, but we'll rate the rest when they get out of the limo. On looks, and then on personality. OH MAN YOU MUST REALLY HATE ME. Oh well.
OKAY HERE WE GO:
shit sorry Cole just called me. I'm not sure how many peopel I missed.
OKAY
Lucas: looks 6.5/10 personality 8/10
William: 7.5/10 personality 7/10
Rickie (or is it mickey): looks 4/10 personality 3/10 I DONT LIKE HIM
oh shit thats all I got from the first limo
LIMO TWO:
Tim: looks 4/10 personality 3/10
Ben C: looks 6/10 personality 4/10
Whats his name? looks 1/10 GREACY HAIR I CANT EVEN JUDGE HIS PERSONALITY
hot boy whos name I dont know: 9/10 7/10
West: 8/10 8/10
THIRD LIMO:
Anthony: 2/10 0/10 OH MAN IM NOT LIKING ANTHONY. muahahahhaa.
Rob: 9/10 9/10 GO ROB
Ames: 2/10 3/10
Matt: 2/10 7/10 OHHH UGLY BOY WITH A CUTE PERSONALITY.
Jeff: WTF this dude is wearing a mask. so I guess I can't judge his looks. buts hes weird, 1/10
okay I'm gonna stop here. I'm sure you're bored. And I'm gonna call Cole back. LOVE YOU.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

I PUSH YOU IN THE WATER TOMMY


Hey Zack, I think I'm gonna make this one short cause its the May Long weekend and I'm at the cabin with Claire in the kids. We had a good day today. Me and Tommy kept pushing each other off the boat and we danced a lot and blasted music.. if you're at your cabin you probably heard it :) It's been a very good weekend, but I miss my husband.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

I know CPR ;)



Okay so now that y'all know Cole's gone, we're just going to get back to having fun. I didn't want to tell you because I guess I was trying not to accept it, or believe it, or whatever. BUT HE IS GONE FOR NOW, and I just got off skype with him so I'm all good right now. THIS FOLLY THURSDAY IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE FOOD CHANNEL. And our first topid is
PICK UP LINES.
So, Cartman, if you ever wanna get a girl; try to use some of these lines. And Kellyanne and Miley, if someone uses them on you... well they're pretty much all about getting in your pants, so whatever you wanna do is cool. But I strongly suggest keeping your V card until you... you know, are in a really good relationship. And are ready for the concequences.

"I heard you needed some help turning your software into a hard drive, so I came over to be your helping hand."
"Lets play train. You sit on my face and I'll go chew chew."
"Roses are red, violets are blue, finger me some more and I'll go down on you."
"I know we have chemisty so, may I study your anatomy" <-- I could see Kellyanne falling for that one.
"If I were a fly, I'd be all over you, cause you're the shit!"
"I would say God bless you, but it looks like He already did."
"Save water. Shower with me."
"can I wear your thighs for earmuffs?" Oh man I love that one.
"Is your boyfriend sitting here?" *sit down* "Now he is"
"If its true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning." I love that one too.
"I think my penis stopped breathing. Do you know CPR?"
"I'm not being obtuse, but your acute girl." hahaha Kellyanne would like that one too.

"Your kinda like a trash can."
"HOW?"
"I like to put my junk into you."

"If you were a president, you'd be Babereham Linkon."
"If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?"

I know you guys loved that.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Fresh Start


Question: Why haven't you been writing to the Loves?
Answer: (from Maria)
In all honesty, no, my excuse isn't 'vacation mode' In fact, its the complete opposite. I haven't been relaxed. At all. But I have been writing. Not to you. To Cole. Who's been stationed in Afghanistan. He left in the middle of April, and he's coming home soon. It's not his job or anything, they just needed a few extra hands and since Cole's helped out there before they asked him to go. He just worked with computers and stuff. THIRTY SEVEN DAYS LEFT. He comes back on June 26th. So, I've been writing to him, and been a single mom (with LOTS of help from Claire and he wonderful children) But man its been hard. It sucks not having Cole around AND not having you around. I don't know how much I'll be writing, but I'll try to get back on that. Its just that... I guess thats not the only reason I havent been writing. I could have found time every night to write to you. But I haven't been thinking about you guys. You're gone and you'll never read this and you aren't coming back. And I am COMPLETELY okay with that. I've completely accepted it. That's all. But I will write more. Cause I like talking to you. And it would be really cool if you just read this. Maybe somehwere in the world does. I don't know. Its a public blog. Aight. I'm gonna head to bed. I just gotta remember something. What were all the days? OKAY MARIA, REMEMBER.
Sunday- sunday subscription
Monday- GUUURRL YOU DID NOT GO THERE
Tuesday- Tommy Tuesday
Wednesday- Gettin' Deep
Thursday- Folly Thursday

OKAY COOL. Thanks guys. For everything. Love you.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

A letter of Apology

Dear Loves,
I'M SORRY.
Love: Maria

PS: The Vacation was so good I'm still in vacation mode. Thats my only excuse.