For some awesome people.: Bad day

Friday, February 3, 2012

Bad day

Dear Zack,

What I wrote yesterday; it was for all of you to hear. But this one is special for you, just like old times. It's the second time in two days im writing so I think we're off to a pretty solid start.

I apologize for being so depressing last night. I have no excuse for it, really, it's just the truth. I'm not a sad person. I'm not vulnerable and weak. Well okay, sometimes I feel that way lately but I'm not that hopelessly in love, home wrecking, stupid girl I was when we were together.

I don't know what to say in here but I've had a shitty couple days and writing to you yesterday made me feel a bit better so I want to do it again,

I already don't know what to say. This has been one of the worst days since the divorce. I just miss him. Cole I mean. The one I knew and loved. It sucks knowing that he's thinking of me and missing me and I'm sitting here without him. Oh well, I guess that's they way it has to be.

I can't finish writing this. Im sorry. This has been a terrible day.

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Dear Loves,

If you`re reading this, hi. You`re awesome and yes its been FOREVER since you went away but I still miss all of you so much and want to share my life with you, regardless of whether or not you want to be a part of it again or just want to read about it (but you should totally leave a comment if you do read this) I started this in hopes of being with you again but since I`m pretty sure thats not going to happen, and I`m completely fine with not seeing you until we`re all in Heaven, this blog has become more of a release from the stresses of life. It`s a time to ramble about awesome things and make myself laugh, cause I do that a lot nowadays. If you are reading this; there`s a few things you need to know. One, I`m sorry for everything. Two, I have four kids now and I`m single. Three, I`m AWESOME. And so is my family and friends. So you should read this. OkayÉ OKAY! Stupid É

One last thing- we love you and miss you.

Not Zack?

Chances are, if anyone finds this blog, Zack or any of his family members wont be one of them. If you are one of the other people who somehow found their way to this blog; hi. I'm Maria. But your probably more curious as to who the heck Zack and The Love's are. Zack is someone I grew up with- someone who I fell in love with and made mistakes with. Vanessa is his wife. Miley, Kellyanne, and Cartman are Zacks siblings. They all live together. Tommy and Cartman were best friends. We were all so close to each other. We did everything together. We made so many memories, some good, some bad. Most of them were good, but for the wrong reasons. Everything got complicated. It was my fault. They all left. I say they left April 2009, because thats the last time we were happy; they really left September 2009. Losing them has been the hardest thing, despite all of the hard ships I've been though in my life. We were family.

We dont think we will ever see the Love's again. This blog is all the hope I have. Its just a sliver of hope, but we're surviving off of it. But who knows, maybe if YOU follow this blog it will become more popular, and then they have a better chance at seeing us again.